“Eggs are fantastic for a fitness diet.“A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.”~ Don Marquis.“Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.”~ Desmond Morris.“My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.” ~ Rose (Betty White).“Leave something for someone but don’t leave someone for something.”~ Enid Blyton.“A failure is like fertilizer it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.”~ Denis Waitley.“I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”~ David Lee Roth.It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” ~ Rita Rudner “Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”~ Dale Carnegie.“If you’re too open-minded your brains will fall out.”~ Lawrence Ferlinghetti.“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”~ Dalai Lama.“The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.”~ Harlan Ellison.
“He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.” ~ Charles de Gaulle.“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” ~ Abraham Lincoln.“If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.” ~ Billy Wilde.“Most people would sooner die than think in fact, they do so.” ~ Bertrand Russell.“Life is hard it’s harder if you’re stupid.” ~ John WayneĪlso Read: Sarcastic Quotes Funny Inspirational Quotes.“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~ Bernard Baruch.“Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?” ~ Benny Hill.“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” ~ Benjamin Franklin.“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant.I didn’t want to interrupt her.” ~ Rodney Dangerfield “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years.“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.” ~ W.C.There is no cure for curiosity.” ~ Dorothy Parker “ Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’” ~ Anonymous.The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.” ~ Ann Landers “At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t.“All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.” ~ Casey Stengel.“My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.” ~ Caroline Rhea.Women marry men with the hope they will change. “Men marry women with the hope they will never change.“A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”~ Eleanor Roosevelt.“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” ~ Abraham Lincoln.This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”~ Alan Dundes “People kept saying ‘Go Corona’ and it went to other countries to spread across the globe.” ~ Invajy.“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”~ A.“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”~ Andy Rooney.“ Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.”~ James Thurber.Read through, memorize a few and share with your near ones. In this article we have curated Best Funny Quotes and Sayings, which will make you laugh out loud. These not only make you ponder, also lighten your mood when it’s needed. Funny Quotes and saying do the exactly same. Some of life’s truths can be communicated in better way when it has some funny element in it.
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